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I’m going to share something personal with everyone. My thyroid gland hates me and the feeling is mutual.
In the beginning of 2013, I was relatively healthy. I began to experience some symptoms that were confusing. It was then that I learned that I had hypothyroidism.
At the same time, I was dealing with ongoing female issues (endometriosis, ovarian cysts, ect.)
My amazing doctor got my hypothyroidism under control pretty quickly. Other than the lingering female issues, I felt pretty good.
That lasted about a year.
Towards the middle of 2014, I began to experience different symptoms. I was irritable (more so than usual), shaking all of the time, not able to sleep and a myriad of other things.
I was miserable.
We learned that that my thyroid function went from a hypo state to a hyper state. After medication adjustments, it was still hyper. I eventually went off of all medication for hypothyroidism and began medication for hyperthyroidism.
It was during this time that I learned I was pregnant, which was wonderful and scary. I already have one child. Thankfully, I did not have the thyroid problems while I was pregnant with her. The medication for hyperthyroidism is risky, at best, for pregnancy.
It was also during my pregnancy that I learned that I have Hashimoto’s Disease and Grave’s Disease. They are both autoimmune thyroid disorders.
Having both disorders was placing my thyroid gland is a tug of war scenario.
When I lost my baby through miscarriage, my endocrinologist began to explain other treatment options.
The option of Radioactive Iodine was brought up. It is a pill that would attack and kill my thyroid gland. It wouldn’t take away the thyroid autoimmune disorders but it would stop the hyper state and place it permanently into a hypo state.
I wasn’t sure that this option was the best for me but I agreed to follow through with the testing anyways.
They took an imaging scan of my thyroid gland and they found nodules.
It was settled. I was getting the radioactive treatment.
Surprisingly, the treatment itself was the easy part. I had a sore throat and lost my sense of taste for a few weeks.
I started to begin to feel like myself again. That lasted a few days before the hypo symptoms returned with a vengeance.
- Getting out of bed is a challenge.
- My fingers are swollen.
- I have zero tolerance to the cold.
- My skin is extremely dry.
- I have no libido.
- My muscles constantly hurt.
- I feel like I’m in a mental fog. I often forget what I’m doing.
- It’s a challenge for me to do the most basic tasks. And when I do, I’m exhausted.
I feel as if I have the body of an elderly woman. Not that of a twenty-six year old.
But, on the outside, I look mostly “normal”. It’s hard for people to understand how I feel.
I’m sick of the comments, most coming from those who should be supportive.
“You’re a prude”
No, I just don’t have a libido. Get over it.
“You’re just lazy”
Right, because I want to feel this way.
“If you would just get up, you’d feel better”
I really wish I could some days.
“Try this gluten, sugar, everything free diet. It worked for a friend of mine”
Good for them. I’ve tried natural treatments. Didn’t work for me.
“You don’t look sick”
Not all problems are visible externally.
Or, you have the family/friends that are so wrapped up in their own problems they don’t think to ask how you’re doing. Or, they don’t care.
My family, friends and significant other should be the ones I can count on. Not the ones dragging me down. (Not all of you, some of you have been amazing).
I don’t care anymore what anyone thinks of me.
You might not see that I’m sick. You might be tired of me being sick. Trust me, so am I.
But, that’s just where I’m at right now. If you can’t handle it, let me know now and stay out of my life.
I am too tired to focus what little energy I have on anyone else’s negativity.
- Eventually, I will adjust. I will feel better again.
- Eventually, I will be able to take my daughter to an amusement park and just have fun again.
- Eventually, I will be able to be normal.
Until that happens, I refuse to feel guilty about how I feel. I’m going to listen to my body and rest when needed. I’m not going to push myself, which only makes it worse.
And trust me; I WILL remember who stood by me and who did not.
To those that have not, don’t expect to remain in my life when I do feel better.
You know who you are.
In the past year, I’ve been pushed and pulled in every direction by my thyroid. And it’s been a living hell.
I’ve experienced a loss of a pregnancy, a loss of a job, a loss of my health, loss of friendships, and a loss of myself.
All due to a tiny, butterfly shaped gland.
I hope that clears up everyone’s questions and comments about why I’ve been so lazy.
One more thing, just because you were able to handle a sickness you have/had a certain way, doesn’t mean I can.
Feel free to leave if you can’t understand that.
COMMON QUESTIONS I’VE BEEN ASKED:
What is a thyroid gland?
The thyroid gland is shaped kind of like a butterfly. It’s located in the front of your neck. It controls your nervous system, metabolism, body temperature and much more.
What is “hypothyroidism”?
It means that your thyroid gland is under active.
What are the symptoms?
- Weight Gain
- Cold Sensitivity
- Muscle Aches and Cramps
- Decreased Libido
- Dry Skin
- Memory Loss
What is “hyperthyroidism”?
It means that your thyroid gland is over active.
What are the symptoms?
- Hand Tremors
- Frequent Bowel Movements
- Irregular heartbeat
- Dry Skin
- Muscle Weakness
- Mood Swings